didnt sleep the whole night last night... cried... everytime i close my eyes... i saw him... i saw the event in the afternoon... i saw the pain in his eyes... i heard the sorrowful words i said... once again... i gave up... i gave up my decision... and let him be...

why cant we not even be friends? I kept asking myself this qs...
i made it with so many people... but the one i wanted most to befriend with, i failed...
am i really that difficult to socialise with? Am i really that despicable in his eyes? He really think I can forget him as time passes?
Today went out... most of the time I am just dazing... with siew kee next to me, i find some comfort in her. She is really a great friend. Too bad, I am just sucks in being her friend... a lousy friend i am... haiz...
oh yeah... and this stupid hair is really getting on my nerve.. red!!! aghhh... haiz... I really hate to dye hair.. esp. my hair!!! never mind... just 1 month... 1 month later i will get it black! Haizz... i must crazy to even think of this method...

he dun like me to dye hair, then i dye..
he dun like me to drink, opps.. i not goin drink.. cos fear liaoz

whatever it is, i will just do what he dun like.. hopefully he will find me a nuisance... hate me... forget me... ignore me... dun recognise me... best of all, slap me awake!

still day dreaming.. i am... dazing... staring... a big blank in my future... totally lose track of my own track...

guess the most regretful thing in my life is not able to let him understand and realise that i am not as despicable as he thinks... haiz... but what to do... right from the start, he dont even trust me... no matter how honest i am... then i rather he hates me...

sumtymes i juz wish... i wish everything hasnt start... but i believe god gave me this lesson to learn something out of it... Haiz....

Anyway... though he no longer treats me as a friend. I will still. Cos to me, no one can understand my feeling well as him de... so whenever he is upset, I just hope he know I will be there de... how far how near... i will just pray for him quietly and silently... cos I have placed this person deep in my heart and thrown the key away already... (U must be happy... then I will feel happy wor... xin fu!)

Just compose a song...

-=NuO YaN=-

zai wei wan de cheng shi li
xun zhao zhe ni de nian
hu huan zhe ni de ming zi
xi wang mong huan de yi shun jian
nen xun zhao dao ni de si nian

ni de mei yi ju cheng nuo
dou mai chang zai wo xin zhong
jin jin de wo zhe mei yi ju shi yan
fang bu xia de ai qing you you shui nen ti hui

(chorus)
yi ju wo ai ni bu nen dang zuo qi dian
muo hu de yan lei wen nuan wo de nian
yi ju zai jian bu nen dang zuo zhong dian
kan zhe shi wang de ai qing li wo de shi jie
wo zhi xiang zai ting dao ni de nuo yan

zhou zai zhe tiao man chang de jiu lu
yi qie hao xiang gen ben mei you gai bian
bi shang wo de shuang yan
si hu huan xiang ni de chu xian
zhe fen ai wo yong yuan shou bu hui lai

(translation)

walking in the midnight city, finding ur familiar face.
calling out for ur name, hoping the fantasy moment, i can find ur thoughts of missing me...

ur every promises, i kept it deep in my heart. holding on to ur every promises, i am still unable to give up this love. who can understand this feeling?

(chorus)
we can never take a sentence, " i love u", as the starting point.
tears in my eyes blurred my vision, yet warm my cheek.
we can never take a sentence, "goodbye" as the ending of everything.
looking at the disappointed love leaving my world.
i just hope to hear ur promises again.

walking along the long familiar old road,
everything seems to stay the same.
closing my eyes, i could feel and imagine u standing infront of me. this love of mine, i can never take it back...


nice song... hor?

Current Mood: moody